What Serano means when she says guys are stuck in the “nice guy/asshole” double-bind is that guys have to choose if they want to be considered nice or be an “asshole” to be liked. A “nice guy” is someone who treats people with respect while an “asshole” is a person who treats women badly and only cares about themselves. Some qualities of a “nice guy” would be respectful, caring, and hopeful while an “asshole” has qualities like condescending, arrogant, and selfish. Some men gravitate towards the “asshole” stereotype because they think that this will get people to like them. I agree with the conclusions she draws however I feel like not all women will choose the “asshole” over the “nice guy”.
Month: November 2023
The predator/prey mindset creates double standards in how we view females versus males sexually. It is damaging for both men and women because men cannot be viewed as sexual objects, nor can women be viewed as sexual aggressors. It is hard for men to walk around as they are viewed as the sexual aggressors, for example, they have a harder time communicating with children because they don’t want to be seen as predators. While women aren’t viewed as sexual aggressors, rather they are seen as open to being sexually objectified by others. This is why rape cases dwell on what the woman was dressed in, and if she is dressed in revealing clothes she is “asking for it”.
The societal phenomenon Rebecca Soling is describing in her essay “Men Explain Things to Me,” is that men tend to silence women by not giving them the credit that they deserve. This behavior is damaging for women because we have had to work our way up to be respected by men and by silencing women we are taking a step back. As men tend to explain things to women, “the slippery slope of silencings” relates to issues like harassment and abuse. This is due to women not being able to talk about their experiences. It is related to abuse as the men seem to invalidate what women are saying and therefore aren’t allowed to speak on their experiences and feel less confident in themselves.
